Stereotype threat, the possibility of being seen through the lens of a negative stereotype, is insidious because in many respects it is the internalization of low expectations. If you are the member of a group that is commonly associated with low performance, the sheer amount of energy it takes to combat these preconceptions and maintain a state of hyper-vigilance can be exhausting. "Disidentification" is the attempt to decrease these heightened levels of stress by realigning one's self-regard. In short, trying not to care so much, not letting your desires and abilities get in the way of a reality that can be merciless in its subtly underhanded reminders that these stereotypes might not be true for you, but since everybody else thinks they are, there's no point in fighting.
A couple of years ago, I was attending an evening Ruby on Rails talk. The subject matter was a little over my head, but I find that immersing myself in something challenging to understand is the best way to maintain a sense of curiosity. One of the best motivators for learning is to have a glimpse at the vast amount of stuff I don't know YET. Despite my unfamiliarity with some of the terminology, I was able to follow along and engage with the concepts if not the technical details. I was even able to ask the speakers a couple of questions. After the talk, beer and wine were served, and biology being what it is, I soon had to visit the restroom. The men's room had a small line, the women's restroom was locked.
There were two other women standing outside the door waiting, just assuming that someone was taking their time inside. I waited with them. And waited, until it became apparent that the company hosting the talk had not bothered to unlock the women's restroom. I got mad. And then I got mad that I was getting mad. I told myself to calm down, and that there was no sense in blowing anything out of proportion. I found one of the event coordinators, who found one of the venue managers, who found an employee with a key to unlock the door. The explanation was dumbfounding, "We just weren't expecting a lot of women." All we could do was laugh nervously and politely.
No big deal. An oversight, an admittedly stupid one, but it wasn't worth the effort of making a formal complaint to anyone. I spent the rest of the evening in a grumpy and guilty fog instead of networking. While this incident isn't particularly representative of the tech industry as a whole, it has influenced the way I behave. I was so afraid of appearing shrill and over-sensitive that I forgot why I had gone to the talk in the first place. I was afraid of playing into a role, of being thought of as overdramatic and reactionary.
While this isn't really a good example of stereotype threat per se, it was an eye-opening introduction into the way we train ourselves to try to head negative perceptions off, to overcompensate for a situation that should not have happened in the first place. The title of Claude M. Steele's book "Whistling Vivaldi: How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do" is taken from an anecdote told to the author by a young black man attending university in a largely white community. He noticed people deliberately crossing the street as he approached, or pulling their children in closer as he passed. He understood that these people thought he was a threat, so he started whistling classical music whenever he walked to signify that he was cultured, gentle, and not dangerous.
The fact that this young man had to come up with a way to compensate for his existence and soothe those around him is sad, but not shocking. His whistling put his neighbors at ease. It subverted the deeply ingrained expectations that subconsciously sculpt our perceptions of people different than ourselves. But how much time and effort are being unduly allocated to these kinds of compromises? What are the dangers of paying more attention to how you are perceived than the task at hand? Anxiety splits our attention and makes us less effective, but what other choice is there? One can always give up. Disengage from the causes of that stress, they can't get to you if you don't care, right?
So how can we combat the effects of stereotype threat? The biggest hurdle is simply becoming aware of it. Be conscientious of your own reactions and expectations and question vague judgments. Are they based on observed facts or patterns or are you filling in the blanks with pre-conceived notions based on someone's background or appearance? Be conscientious of your own self-criticism. Are you "giving up" because you need a breather before you continue, or because people just don't expect you to succeed? If we counter these destructive learned behaviors with awareness, empathy, humor and accessible restrooms, we stand a good chance of creating an environment free from distraction and anxiety.