From the big list provided in our prompt, the words that jump out at me all have a similar theme; Confidence. Coolness under fire. Courage. Self-reliance. Serenity. Will-power. All these things are important to me because they describe the way I want to see myself, and the way I want to be perceived by other people. The times in my life where I've felt the happiest have also been the times where I've felt the calmest, the most collected and confident. It's hard to rank how often I try to "live up" to things like "confidence" and "courage" because these are essentially just reactions, split-second choices made in moments of stress. The times when I have felt calm when I "should" have been stressed have come more as a welcome surprise than the result of any intentional practice or inner discipline.
One of my worst habits (as I see it) is to give advice when it hasn't been asked for. But, when I'm explicitly asked for my advice I can sometimes become self-conscious and full of doubt. Why is it easier for me to give unsolicited advice than give my true opinion when I am directly asked? First of all, there's less pressure, less expectation. The last time I was asked for advice was a request for tips on cooking an eggplant. I've cooked tons of eggplants. Yet I resorted to Google and two cookbooks before giving my final answer. If this had been a different conversation, I would have volunteered the information readily, along with amusing anecdotes of exploding eggplants in a broiler. Being asked for advice directly puts me in a position of accountability, and I'm afraid of being responsible for someone else's bad time, for someone else's exploding eggplant. So I want to get it exactly right.
The word I would add to the list in the prompt is Balance. Whatever goal I'm aiming for, it always seems like if that goal were to be distilled down to its essence, it would all come back to the concept of balance. Confidence is balancing the expectation of failure with the benefits of your experience and memory, self-reliance is the balancing of your expectations and dependencies with the knowledge that each action and reaction is ultimately your own decision.
This commitment to balance could help to lessen stereotype threat because it includes a constant analysis of motivation. Am I acting a certain way based on my own thoughts, feelings and opinions, or am I being influenced by my desire to appear a certain way to other people? These are hard things to untangle, but I have to get over the nasty habit of questioning my decisions and just charge forward with the knowledge that while I will push myself to perform to the best of my abilities, I will not lose sight of the things that bring calmness, order and stability to my life.